Food trends men hate

Tableside guacamole

“They charge you 20 bucks for the show. Whatever happened to regular guac, which was the same thing, only made in the kitchen and cost less than 10 dollars?”

Tofu

“Tofu just doesn’t make sense. The texture is vile, and there is no flavor. Weirdest of all is that it’s odorless — that’s a big thing with food, it needs to have a smell."

Vegan

No meat, no fish, no milk, no cheese, no eggs. “Where’s dinner?”

Fancy rolls such as brioche or sourdough with hamburgers

“Too much bread and you lose the meat.”

Sliders

Men may prefer classic, thin burger buns, but don’t make that bun too small.

“If a chef can’t come up with a better idea than sliders, it's time to get a new job. Leave the nickname for those greasy little White Castle burgers that can be tasty late at night when you are in the mood.”

Raw food

“It's food for squirrels, not for humans.”

Sushi with brown rice

Sushi is already a little dainty and/or gross for some men, and now some restaurants are taking it up a notch.

“People have dietary restrictions and personal preferences, but brown rice can be such a status statement: ‘I’m not going to eat those two little teaspoons of white rice with my sushi because brown rice is so much healthier (and so am I).’ Really? Just eat the two teaspoons of white rice and live a little.”

Endless menu descriptions

“I really don’t need to know that the pork I’m considering ordering once ate organic grass on a free range portion of Ma and Pa Kettle’s farm. The quality of the dish should speak for itself.”

Cupcakes


As cute and yummy as they are to the ladies, cupcakes are not so popular among the XY chromosome set.

“The ratio of frosting to cake is all off. And you look like a little girl eating them.”

Macarons (French macaroons)

“If eating cupcakes didn’t make me look ridiculous enough, how am I supposed to walk around eating a macaron? I know — let’s go shopping and while you are in the changing room, I’ll hold your purse. At least that’s more masculine then a macaron.”

John Mariani, author of How Italian Food Conquered the World, food and travel editor for Esquire, and author of the Virtual Gourmet Newsletter, says the bottom line is that men don’t want to be told what to eat by their wives, girlfriends, or the food police. What they really hate is, as he puts it: “The thought of a food being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for them, alien to their entrenched preferences. They are highly (rightly) suspicious of the health claims made of certain foods and the criticism made of their favorites.” And don’t even think of serving him a gourmet burger.